Trapped

how can I not
there are people counting on me
I don't want to be a failure
I just can't go on
I want out
of it all
so I know I can't
but it would be an end to it
I put too much in one basket
I have lost my way
confused
take my hand and pull hard
get me back to what I know
There are moments of lucidness
fleeting
it isn't easy but it is the easy way
I vibrate in inaction
choose confuses me
I use my energy to play my part
out in the world
my heart is not in it
my heart is a memory
beating the drum of continuum